Positive Coping Skills + Mechanisms

Hey Soul Family,

We’ve been getting in deep with the emotions and trauma talk recently, so I wanted to go over some positive coping skills to add to your arsenal. Many of us were traumatized as children and as a result we developed trauma responses. Many of us were not taught positive ways to deal with our emotions. Our own parents don’t know how to deal with their emotions, and they sure as hell didn’t know how to deal with ours. This left a huge deficiency in the way that we deal with our emotions as adults. Many of us succumb to stressors because we don’t know how to deal in any other way than our trauma responses. Today we’re going to go over some positive coping skills for dealing with the stress or anxiety that you feel when your emotions get triggered.

Let yourself CRY. Yes. I know this one seems simple, but for many of us who grew up feeling unsafe, crying isn't always as easy as it sounds. If you don't feel safe crying yet, go do yourself a favor and look in the mirror while saying the following: "I know that we always haven't been safe, but you are safe here. You are safe with me. It is OK for you to cry. It is OK for you to be emotional. Your emotions don't make you weak. Your vulnerability makes you strong. It's OK to let it all out. No one is going to hurt you here. No one is going to ridicule, mock, betray, or belittle you here. I have got your back." Say that as many times as you have to while looking at yourself in the mirror, until you realize that you are in fact safe. Once that happens, allow yourself to feel all of your emotions and allow yourself to cry. Crying is one of the best cathartic ways to release. Allow yourself to feel and ride the way of those emotions. 

BE KIND. There is a good chance that if you are here, you will have a critical voice in your head. This voice is the same critical voice that was spoken to you as a child. It is the voice of your abusers, NOT your voice. Be kind to yourself. Be friendly with yourself. Find compassion for yourself by speaking to yourself as if you are speaking to your inner child. Be very mindful of the words you use with yourself. Become self-aware about this. Are the words you use empowering or disempowering?

Meditate. Also known as mindfulness, meditation is extremely beneficial for emotional regulation, among other benefits. Allowing yourself to take some deep breaths, practicing mindful meditation, grounding yourself, or just allowing yourself to practice that breathe work can go a long way. Whether you are just breathing deeply or being more mindful, meditation is beneficial in so many ways. With over 50 benefits, it is one of the best ways to regulate our mind, body, and spirit. This will also help if you tend to be impulsive.

Write a letter. You can write a letter to the person or people who have hurt you. Allow yourself to flow freely and be as honest as possible. You do not have to ever give the person the letter or send it to them. You can choose to write it then burn it, rip it, or bury it. The second part it about releasing what you have written. Choose a way to release that resonates the most with you. Personally, I love to write letters and read them to the universe and then burn them. Do what resonates with you. 

Listen to music or play an instrument. Music resonates at a certain frequency and can be used to lift your mood or frequency. You can also choose to tap into your divine feminine aspect by making music and playing an instrument.

Dance. The same thing goes for dance, which is also an aspect of the divine feminine. Doing intentional dancing can really go a long way with releasing pent up emotions and the traumas of your past. It is also a great way to get that heart rate going and release endorphins. 

Paint, draw, or color. Using your right brain, creations of all kinds can come to life. Some people find it to even be therapeutic. If you aren’t very artistic, you could always purchase an adult coloring book or print some coloring pages for free online.

Crochet, knit, or sew. These activities can help to relieve stress while helping to keep your mind focused. You can find free patterns online.

Arts and Crafts. There are so many different crafts that you could choose from. You can mold clay, build playsets or Lego sets, wrap jewelry, create things made from resin, make miniatures, make bracelets, or make macabre dream catchers. The possibilities are really endless.

Aromatherapy. Some people swear by the benefits of aroma therapy and its ability to calm the mind and body. If this calls out to you, try it and get some calming or anxiety relief blends and essential oils to diffuse. 

Exercise. You can choose to go with a spiritual exercise like yoga or take a hike or bike ride through nature. You can also choose to go to the gym or just stretch at home. If you don’t happen to live next to a forest to hike in, you can check out your local parks. Exercising and moving the body helps to release endorphins which can help regulate emotions.

Clean. You can declutter your closets or clean up your space. This often helps to shift one's emotions and helps to lighten up the space you live in as well. 

Watch a feel good show or movie. Feel good movies, cartoons, and comedies for the win here. You can even choose to watch something that you enjoyed as a child for extra added bonus points here.

Laugh. It doesn't matter how you laugh, but only that you do so. Laughing have been proven to shift your moods and help you to release emotions. It can act as a catharsis and allow you to release the emotions that you may be suppressing. It also can help with releasing stress and tension as well. 

Smiling. This has also been proven to work in helping you to shift your emotions. The physical act of smiling activates pathways in your brain that influences your emotional state. This means that you can trick your mind into entering a state of happiness. Consider this a happiness hack and keep it along with laughing within your arsenal as a defensive measure when coping with your emotions.

Journal. You can choose to write about your emotions or feelings. There may be some trauma and betrayal that comes from journaling as well that needs to be dealt with. Some of you may have had your privacy violated and need to let yourself know that it's OK and you don't have to deal with that anymore. When you finally feel comfortable and safe, get to journaling. If you don’t know where to start answer these questions. What am I feeling? Why am I feeling this way? What made me feel this way? What are my feelings rooted in?

Read a book. Catch up on your favorite genre or read an oldie but goodie.

Eat healthy. Eating healthier foods full of light energy like fresh produce can help keep the body within higher frequencies. Some would even suggest cutting back on caffine. 

Cook or bake your favorite foods. You could also indulge yourself and your inner child by making some of your favorite foods or baked items. 

Drink some tea. There really is a tea for almost everything. Some people find tea to be comforting as well. Find a tea that you love.

Play with your pets. For some people having an emotional support animal is extremely effective for helping with emotions.

Gardening. The act of being out in nature and in the dirt can be therapeutic for some people and also grounding. 

Squeeze a stress ball. Stress balls can be beneficial for some people when experiencing stress or anxiety.

Take a bath. This can be very relaxing, and it can also be a very deep experience allowing you to purge in that bath and rise anew. Epsom salt can be enchanted for whatever you need, so if you choose this method, go get yourself a big bag of salt. This has been one of my favorite ways to deal with my emotions and purge. 

Get enough sleep. Some research and studies show the disastrous effects of not getting enough sleep at night. Not getting enough sleep can cause a lot of issues during your day, including issues with irritability, focus, and concentration. Make sure you get a good 6-8 hours of sleep a night.

Ask for help. This can look like turning to a trusted family member, friend, therapist, or counselor. If you feel hopeless or like you need help, please do not feel ashamed to ask for it. You could also pray and ask for help from your spirit squad and/or God. Please be open to receiving what you ask for. 

Well Soul Fam, I hope that this information has helped you with connecting some dots. Until next time… Sending mucho luz + amor always!

XoXo,
Luna Estrellas