Dissociation + Your Journey

by Kari Miranda March 17, 2021

Hey Soul Fam!

So, for those of you who haven’t been keeping up with my lives or lunar notes, these next few months are going to be emotionally intense AF. These next few months will be extremely triggering in every way for the collective. I’m not going to front; the collective will basically be experiencing a dark night of the soul that will trigger every fucking body. At this point, there will be no running from your darkness or your demons, as everything will be brought up so that you can finally face and release it. The problem with this process is that MANY people are not actually ready for it. A spiritual awakening is very finicky as fuck when it comes to someone’s psyche, and many people are not psychologically ready to handle their awakening. When someone can not handle the shattering of their cognitive dissonance, dissociation happens. While this isn’t necessarily a bad thing at advanced levels, people can get easily lost before mastering themselves, and that is where problems can arise. So, we are going to discuss what dissociation is, how it happens, and how to cope with it when it is happening to you.

What is dissociation though? Dissociation is a mental state that causes you to feel as though there is a lack of connection to your thoughts, memory, sense of identity or mental processes. People often describe a dissociative state by “losing touch” with awareness of their immediate surroundings. Yet, what most people don’t know is that dissociation is a scale and that most people will experience dissociation- especially those of you who are choosing to self-actualize. In my experience, I’ve noticed that dissociation happens the most during the initial stages of self-actualization. This is at the time when one’s cognitive dissonance is at its most frail state and a person is just coming to accept their journey. As they accept themselves and choose to actually SEE themselves, their cognitive dissonance shatters, and what they are left with is a view of what I call “real reality”. At this point, you are now faced with a plethora of issues- your shadow side, your demons, your childhood traumas, your present traumas; and your cognitive dissonance will fight like a mother fucker to keep you safe and keep you from experiencing those pains. On this journey, you will be faced with many thoughts and emotions that you have not had in years. For some people, this can be an overwhelming experience to face repressed emotions and memories. In an effort to save you and keep you mentally still going, dissociation will occur as a defense mechanism. This is a state that can be triggered or it can happen naturally. Some will find this task to be far more challenging than others. Yet, please keep perspective and be strong! Consider this your ego’s last resort attempt to keep you safe once your cognitive dissonance shatters. Growth is just through that storm though, so keep going and face your reality as best as you can.

While dissociation is often associated with childhood trauma and is closely linked, think about movies like Addicted or Split, it isn’t the only factor. Psychologist claim that about 90 percent of people who dissociate have been the victims of childhood abuse and neglect though. Dissociation is also extremely common for trauma survivors who have post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), these survivors can often develop a dissociative disorder as a form of coping. How Common is dissociation in the grand scheme of things? Dissociation is fairly common, as there are varying severities of a dissociative state. It is extremely common among people who have experienced some type of trauma including physical, emotional or sexual abuse, war, extreme violence, natural disasters, and childhood trauma. Personally, as a Pisces, I’ve been exploring this since I was a child, as we are known to be some hardcore daydreamers. Daydreaming is considered a mild state of dissociation, while there are more serious dissociative states where one undergoes a complete loss of touch with reality.

Why does dissociation happen to people? Dissociation is usually a trauma-response, which can be a mental, emotional or physical response after exposure to a person, place, or thing that is reminiscent of the trauma that was experienced (like being triggered). Dissociation is a coping mechanism for trauma survivors, which allows the person to continue functioning at a moment of severe traumatization (like someone dissociating to maintain their regular schedule regardless of their trauma). Situations that are threatening or non-threatening, directly related or unrelated to the original trauma, can trigger a dissociative state in someone and it can happen either during or after a traumatic event has occurred. Dissociation usually happens as an automatic response and is typically a state entered subconsciously; so it usually occurs without planning or awareness. Some things that can cause dissociation include: traumatic events (childhood or present day traumas), triggering events (things that usually trigger childhood or adolescent trauma), stress (present day traumas) and difficult relationships (usually mother/father/family wounds that effect current trauma filled relationships).

What are the signs and symptoms of dissociation? Well, dissociation can cause changes in bodily sensations and cause an inability to react emotionally. Usually, people who experience dissociation describe feelings of disconnection between themselves and their body. Some common signs and symptoms of being in a dissociate state can be: feeling spaced out; having a glazed, blank look or staring; mind going blank; mind wandering and daydreaming; a sense of the world not being real; watching yourself from seemingly outside of your body; detachment from self or identity; out of body experience (this is a BIG one in terms of spirituality); disconnection from your surroundings; lack of sensation (You ARE real, so do not do no wild shit like set your hand on fire or stab yourself because you’re dissociating. You DO have sensations, so please do not harm yourself while in this state. Use a coping method STAT if you are having trouble with what is real.); or a flat affect, monotone voice. The duration of these symptoms can represent the difference between a dissociative episode and a dissociative disorder. Experiencing these symptoms could be fleeting, recurrent, or even constant depending on how deeply you allow yourself to get caught up in this cycle. DO NOT allow yourself to get caught up in a cycle of dissociation, as it tends to get darker the longer you allow yourself to remain in that state. Please keep perspective and yank yourself out of there as quickly as you can.

What does dissociation effect? I found that the way that psychologist described dissociation and its states and effects were all so very interesting as they reminded me so much of our spiritual journey. It is important to know the aspects that are affected by being in this state, especially for those of you self-actualizing. Dissociation disrupts four major areas of functioning, including: sense of self/ identity (BINGO, this is what happens when you are self-actualizing and wake up to find that you have no fucking idea who you actually are), memory (repressed memories being brought up or memories trying to become buried again, also lack of memory), consciousness (feeling like you are not consciously here, I used to call this feeling “lucid” because it was when I felt like I was the most awaken), awareness of self and surroundings (feeling like everything is fucking fake, and the more you research and the deeper you go down that rabbit hole, the more you find).

Dissociative Disorders: Dissociative disorders can be more specific than just entering a dissociative state frequently. Dissociative disorders involve issues with memory, perception, emotion, behavior and sense of self.

There are a four types of dissociative disorders that a person can suffer from. Some dissociative disorders include:

Dissociative Amnesia, which can be experienced in two sub-types, including psychogenic amnesia and psychogenic fugue. Psychogenic amnesia is the inability to recall personally significant memories. Psychogenic fugue is the memory loss characteristic of amnesia, loss of one’s identity, and fleeing from one’s home environment.

Dissociative Identity Disorder (also known as multiple personality disorder), is where the person has two or more distinct personalities that alternate with one another. A person with dissociative identity disorder ‘feels as if she has within her two or more entities, each with its own way of thinking and remembering about herself and her life. It is important to keep in mind that although these alternate states may feel or appear to be very different, they are all manifestations of a single, whole person.

Depersonalization or Derealization Disorders are next. In Depersonalization one experiences feelings of unreality or detachment from one’s mind, self or body. People may feel as if they are outside their bodies and watching events happening to them. (You know what’s interesting about this? This is basically what happens when one actually reaches self-actualization and finally feels detachment. Then there is the outer body experiences that are spoken about within this aspect, that in my opinion are laced thoroughly in spirituality). With Derealization one experiences unreality or detachment from one’s surroundings. People may feel as if things and people in the world around them are not real. (Again, this is an aspect of self-actualization and our spiritual journey. At one point you WILL wake up from what feels like the damn matrix and nothing will seem the same anymore. This is normal and a part of the process. I highly suggest that you study the science behind energy, so look at physics, look at the hermetic principles, look at the reports about us being in a holographic universe. I have found that the more I have educated myself, the less scary it all seems. It is the unknown in which we fear the most, and knowing not only brings clarity, but it also brings with it an illumination so that all that was dark and scary can be seen in the light of the truth. I highly suggest you research the things that you feel drawn to the most).

Now, onto the most important part of this blog. How can you get out of a dissociative state? There are a few exercises that help people come out of dissociative states. Here are some exercises you can do if you need help with getting out of a dissociative state:

5 Senses: If you or someone else is in a dissociative state, ask (yourself) them to describe what each of their senses are experiencing. For example, what can you hear right now? What can you feel around you? What can you see? What can you smell right now? What can you taste? There are variations to this exercise as well.
MEDITATION: I cannot fucking stress enough that you NEED to learn how to properly breath. Dissociation is often triggered by the fight-or-flight response. In order to counteract that, it’s important to know how to self-soothe through breathing. THIS is one of the reasons why I teach people to count their breaths. Self-soothing through properly breathing is one of the more important and essential tools to have in your arsenal on your journey of self-actualization and your spiritual journey alike. When you feel yourself having an episode, stop everything you are doing, close your eyes and start counting your breathes. Start with a count of 6-3-6 and do this for a few minutes. I highly recommend learning a proper breathing technique, which has been shown to regulate and calm your autonomic nervous system. This is a way to signal to your body and brain that you’re safe, so please understand how important this is.

Grounding: There are many ways to practice grounding exercises. Some grounding exercises that are helpful include giving the person in a dissociative state something to taste or feel. Ways you can do this is by giving them a candy and asking them to describe the taste and sensation, so keep a bag of lollipops in your stash. Another way to do this is put an object in their hands and ask them to describe the way it feels, so try to keep a squishy ball like a stress ball around your home. A spinner would also be effective here, and for some reason I get the image of Leo Dicaprio in Inception with that fucking totem spinner. If you need to get you one of those totems to keep you grounded in THIS reality, then do so. Additional grounding techniques include: listening to music and singing along, watching something that makes you laugh, and splashing cold water on your face. Last but not least we have actual meditative grounding that utilizes visualizations. To do this, you will need to meditate and begin with the foundational breathing. After you have calmed yourself down a bit, you can begin to visualize your grounding. Imagine thick, strong roots growing out of your root chakra and into the earth. Imagine those roots digging deeply into the earth, wrapping itself tightly into the earth, anchoring you and grounding you to it. Feel yourself grounded and protected. Another way to do this quickly is by either hugging a tree or walking barefoot in the grass. When doing either you would close your eyes, and feel the energy flow through you, grounding you.

Make a Sacred Space: Make yourself a safe and sacred space if you can. You can choose to cleanse it, bless it, and make it your special place. If you are more spiritually inclined, invite your spirit squad into your space and ask that they fortify it and protect it, making it safe. Decorate it in the ways you wish, and in ways that will be soothing to you. Add plush pillows and blankets that you can cuddle with when you are having an episode.
Focused Sight: Focused sight techniques include asking the person in a dissociative state to look at something in the room and focus on it. Ask them to describe everything about it, ask them questions about it to try and bring their attention back to the present moment.
Essential Oils: Smelling calming essential oils can help to ground you and bring you back to center. Try calming and soothing scents like lavender, rose, rose geranium, chamomile, ylang ylang, bergamot, citrus, peppermint, or eucalyptus.

Taking a Brisk Walk or Exercise: There are many studies that have shown that exercise is an effective way to deal with nearly any mental health problem. However, exercise doesn’t have to mean getting a gym membership. There are many easy exercises you can do quickly and if you need any ideas just search for videos on Youtube. You can also choose to dance to your favorite music. You can go bike riding, you could do some yoga, or take a brisk walk. Getting outside and getting some fresh air in particular can help to ground some people.
Ice Cubes: Have the person in a dissociative state hold ice cubes (or anything frozen) in their hands. The cold temperature will bring them back to the moment by causing an unavoidable sensation in the present moment.
Keep a Journal: This will help you to start identifying your triggers. Dissociation happens for a reason. If it’s having an impact on your life, it’s crucial to learn better coping tools and identify your triggers. Keeping a journal can be helpful for illuminating what some of your triggers might be. When you have a dissociative episode, take some time to retrace your steps and look at the moments leading up to it. This can be crucial to better understanding how to manage dissociation. Dissociation can impact your memory, so writing it down also ensures that you’ll have reference points that you can go back to. For those of you having trouble coping or identifying your triggers, I highly suggest that you find a therapist to work with that can help you with this.
Skin Brushing: This can be done any time you feel as though you need it. It is best to use a natural brush and brush towards the heart. For more information about this, you can check out this article:

www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/rhythms-recovery/201611/effective-self-care-method-decrease-dissociation

Emotional Support Animal: For some people they find that having a furry friend is very soothing and grounding, while other people may find a pet to be a trigger all together. If you have the space, time, and finances to support an animal though, and are an animal lover, this is another aspect for you to consider that can greatly help you cope.
Get Sleep: You need sleep to function properly, so make sure you get a good 7-9 hours of sleep every night to ensure this.